


An Excellent Bad Idea

by 51PegasiB



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: First Time, Hulk Sex, Hulk Talks, M/M, Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 11:04:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1426171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/51PegasiB/pseuds/51PegasiB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony thinks the Hulk deserves a little fun. First he has to convince Bruce to agree, then he has to figure out what to do with the Hulk once he's got him. Can he make the transition from playing hide-and-seek with the ragemonster to the night of his wet dreams?</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Excellent Bad Idea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BruceBanner_CantHave_NiceThings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BruceBanner_CantHave_NiceThings/gifts).



> I wrote this for BruceBanner_CantHave_NiceThings, who really wanted some Hulk sexytimes and who came up with the notion of the chase in the first place. I hope this suits!

"It's not a good idea," Bruce was stern, frowning. If Tony hadn't known him so intimately and for over a year, now, he wouldn't have realized how close the man was to panic.

"It's a genius idea," Tony responded, forcing more cavalier confidence than he felt. "Big green has been working so hard and doing so well with the teamwork. I'm going to let him play - reward him, somehow."

"So build him a fucking jungle gym. Get him a cake. I heard he likes cake," Bruce's words were bitter. He was still upset about the birthday party they'd thrown for the Hulk, even though the pictures of Hulk in a silly paper hat with a face smeared with cake had done wonders for the PR for the team, and helped Fury keep Ross's demons at bay.

Tony sighed. "Look, Bruce, Big green is part of you, and, as such, I love him as much as I love you. I would actually like him to be happy."

"Happy is not what he does," said Bruce, his voice breaking over the words.

"Well, it'll make me happy," said Tony, softly, coming up to run his hands down Bruce's arms, and try to look the man in the eye. The truth was Tony really wanted to try this. He loved Bruce...all of Bruce, and as far as he was concerned, that meant being in love with the Hulk, too. And, well, truth be told, he'd had fantasies about the possibility of bedding his lover's invulnerable alter-ego for a while.

Tony figured that bringing up his big green sexual notions would not actually help his case, at this point. He just stared at Bruce's down-turned face, earnestly.

Bruce uncrossed his arms from in front of his chest, his hands balled into fists, then unclenched. He looked up at Tony with frustration. "God dammit, Tony," he said.

"That's a yes!" Tony grinned and bounced on the balls of his feet.

Bruce actually started to laugh at that. "The fact that that's accurate maybe says too much about our relationship," he said.

So Tony set it up.

It wasn't even expensive to buy an entire town, at this point, especially if you weren't particular about where it was. Tony set up a kind of a cave for the Hulk on the floor of the school gymnasium. Bruce reluctantly helped, because the alternative was to let someone else know what was going on.

"I still think this isn't the best idea," he said to Tony.

"You made that very clear on the flight out," Tony responded.

"What? I barely talked on the flight out," said Bruce. He crossed his arms across his chest and looked down.

"Yeah. That's not like you," said Tony. He walked over to Bruce and put his arms on the man's shoulders. "I promise it's going to be okay."

"Tony, you can promise all you want, but it really isn't up to you."

"I trust Hulk," Tony said.

"I only trust him because you're so sure," said Bruce. "I trust him more because you trust him so much. And you don't trust that easily."

Tony ducked his head to one side to try to catch Bruce's eye. "I don't," he agreed.

They rolled out the huge foam pad Tony had brought to serve as a bed and put the sheet over it. Tony set up the projector attached to the Starkpad he'd loaded with porn (as much in case show and tell was easier than detailed explanations as anything). He also put out food and lube and a few other things.

"Did you really have to get the fifty-five gallon *drum* of lube?" Bruce asked.

Tony looked up at him with a grin. "You want us to risk running out?"

Bruce sighed, but Tony saw him concealing a smile behind his hand.

"I am actually anticipating that there may be some wastage, lube-wise," Tony admitted. "That's part of the reason I figured the shower was necessary." He gestured to the enormous shower they'd put together in one corner of the gym.

When they were done setting up, Tony looked around. "Here we go. A love nest to suit any Hulk."

"What about billionaire geniuses?" Bruce asked him.

"Oh, I'll fuck anywhere," he responded. "Did I ever tell you about the time I did it in one of the bathrooms in Dodger Stadium?"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Yes."

"In my dad's box at the opera?"

"Yes."

"On the Resolute Desk?"

"I still don't believe that one, Tony. The secret service would have stopped you."

"It was with a *member* of the secret service. I'm pretty sure. She had a black suit on and one of those earpiece radios."

Bruce couldn't help but laugh. Then he sighed. He grew serious. "Promise me you're going to be careful."

"I'll be as careful as I ever am," said Tony.

"Please be more careful than that, Tony," Bruce urged. "And if he doesn't seem to get the concept..."

"We fall back on plan B, which is epic smash-and-seek, followed by snacks. We've talked about this, Bruce. I'm not going to take big green against his will."

"And if he shows any signs of being out-of-control..."

"I have the panic button," said Tony, "But I won't need it."

"I just..."

"Really, Bruce. We've worked out anything we can. The next step is for me to talk to the big guy."

Bruce took a deep breath, then nodded. He slowly undressed, tucking his things inside a suitcase next to Tony's on the gym floor, and then reached out for Tony's hand.

"I love you," he said. "You're an idiot with very little sense of self-preservation, but I love you."

"And you're an uptight, stick-in-the-mud, but I love you," Tony responded. They kissed.

Tony opened the big, loading-dock-style door at one end of the large room and turned back. "We're good."

Bruce breathed deeply. "See you on the other side," he said. He closed his eyes and began to change before Tony's eyes. His muscles expanded. Green shot across his skin. Soon, instead of his mild-mannered scientist boyfriend, Tony was standing in front of the Hulk.

* * *

"Smash?" said the Hulk. He sniffed the wind. "Danger?"

"No big guy. No danger this time. We're gonna have some fun."

"Smash fun," insisted Hulk.

Tony had thought a lot about how to try to explain this to the Hulk. In the end he decided he wouldn't be good at explaining it to anyone, so fuck it, Facing a disgruntled big green guy who appeared to be disappointed at the lack of things for him to smash, he was no longer feeling sanguine about this strategy.

"We're gonna do something just as fun as Smash."

Hulk gave him a deeply skeptical look. It was so much like Bruce that Tony had to fight the urge to laugh out loud. He was feeling giddy. He suspected that was adrenaline kicking in. Just being in the same room with the Hulk was a little like the first time flying in the suit. It did things to the pit of his stomach that were incompatible with having evolved in gravity.

"I'm going to run away and you're going to come find me. If you do, I'll have fun with you. We'll play a game. The kind of game I've only played with Banner, before."

Hulk frowned. "Banner like dumb games."

"Not this one. I promise. I think this might be the one thing you guys have in common."

"What game?" Hulk insisted.

"It's called sex. It's a game played by two or more with their bodies, with the goal of making everyone feel good," said Tony. It was as good a definition as he could come up with.

"Banner no let Hulk sex. Hulk interrupt sex and Banner run away."

"Well, I talked him into this. He knows about it. Want to try it?" Tony asked him.

"Why run away?"

"Hide and seek is a kind of game, too. Sex is the prize for winning, this time. I thought you'd like it," said Tony. "You just have to be careful not to smash anything that might have me inside it."

"Tony just fly away," Hulk shook his head. "Tony trick hulk." With one enormous green hand, Hulk mimed the twists and turns and banks Tony often took in the suit.

Tony shook his head. "Not putting the suit on. Just you and me. Mano y mano. I hide. You come find me. All you have to do is give me a head start then come sniff me out."

"Tony not run away?"

"I won't leave the town," he said.

Hulk sat down with a thundering thump, in front of Tony. "Make Tony happy?"

"What do you mean, buddy?"

"Not just for Hulk?" Tony wasn't sure the big guy had ever seemed so earnest, before.

"Definitely not just for Hulk. I like the idea. I'm a little nervous, but I know you won't hurt me.” Tony moved towards him, tentatively. Hulk didn't move away. Tony stepped in and hugged him.

"Not hurt," Hulk agreed, with a smile, patting Tony on the back, a little awkwardly.

Tony impulsively leaned in and gave the big guy a kiss and a hug around the neck. "See?" The Hulk looked surprised, and Tony grinned at him till he smiled back, again. "Fun!"

Tony stood back. "Now, close your eyes and count to one hundred. Then don't take too long to find me."

He stepped back and waited for Hulk to cover his eyes before he grabbed his day pack and ran fleet-footed from the room.

Tony took a circuitous route through the buildings of the main street. He assumed, from things he'd observed in battle and things that Bruce had said, that Hulk's senses were more acute and that Hulk possibly could hunt him down like a bloodhound. It was time to put some of that SHIELD training in survival and evasion that Natasha had insisted he had to undergo to good use.

He could hear the Hulk emerge from the building he'd left behind as he was scaling the maintenance ladder onto the roof of a pizzeria at the end of the street. He heaved himself onto the roof and kept low, listening for any sound that might indicate if the Hulk was coming his way. The big guy was surprisingly quiet.

Tony risked a glimpse over the ledge. He spotted the broad green back in retreat, at the opposite end of the street where Tony had gone at first. Tony didn't make a sound. Once Hulk went out of sight, he laid down on the dusty roof.

He wondered how long this would take. Maybe he should've brought work. Or porn. He looked at the sky and contemplated what he'd signed up for - the Hulk's cock was in proportion to the rest of him from the glimpses he'd caught of it when whatever pants Bruce had worn shredded. He could only imagine the erect version would be just as intimidating as Hulk's fists were in comparison to his own.

He couldn't stop a little whine escaping his mouth at that thought. He closed his eyes and tried to get himself under control. He was hard, just laying here thinking about Hulk and waiting for him. He tucked the backpack under his head (it had water, a snack, a sweatshirt and the panic button). He was torn between wishing he'd never come up with the hide and seek portion of the evening and nursing the electric excitement in his abdomen. He quietly undid his trousers and slid his hand inside his underwear, stroking himself and trying not to make any noise.

He wound up sliding his pants down over his hips, eyes closed, and really went for it. He imagined how the rest of the night was going to go. He was anxious for it. He imagined gripping Hulk's enormous green erection, maybe fisting the big guy, maybe, if he could manage it, getting fucked. He really, really wanted to get fucked. That thought drove him over the edge and he came, shooting over his own stomach and breathing raggedly, still trying to be quiet. He must have been making more noise than he thought, because when Tony opened his eyes, he was staring at Hulk's big, green face poking up over the edge of the roof.

"Found you!" The Hulk clambered over the edge and stood next to where Tony was laying on the roof, looming over him.

Tony stared for a moment. "How long have you been there, big guy?"

Hulk shrugged. "Minute. Tony feel good?"

Tony smiled. "Yeah. That felt good, big guy."

"Hulk take Tony, now." Without giving him a chance to clean himself or pull his pants back up, the Hulk swung Tony over a shoulder, grabbed his backpack with the other hand and leapt down off the building.

Tony chuckled nervously as he swung vertiginously through the air with an excellent view of Hulk's naked butt and the ground swinging by. He wondered if Hulk realized he'd achieved what may have been his first double entendre.

Hulk's gargantuan strides ate up distance quickly and they were soon back at the gym. He put Tony gently down on the bed.

Tony had to admit, now, staring at the big green guy with his own, now-flaccid cock hanging out and his jeans around his hips, he was a little nervous. It had seemed so sexy in his head, but now here he and the big guy were in this love nest he'd built, and he was kind of chilly.

That he could fix. Tony got up and closed the large, garage-style door they'd left open when they started the game, then padded to the heaters he'd brought and flipped them on high.

The Hulk turned around and looked at him. "Tony cold?" he asked in what was a soft voice, for him.

"Yeah, big guy, but I'm fixing it."

"Hulk fix." The Hulk lumbered over to the makeshift bed and sat on it. He reached out arms for Tony. Tony went hesitantly to him.

"Tony...no clothes?"

"You want me to get naked?" Tony asked.

Hulk nodded and smiled. _Oh well_ , thought Tony. _Turnabout is fair play._

Tony shucked his clothes quickly. Now he was really chilly. The Hulk scooped him up and into his own lap.

This was the true test of his mettle. Tony trusted Hulk - in battle, absolutely. Tony trusted the Hulk to do the right thing and take direction in the field.

But this thing they were about to do - the boundaries and rules were a lot less clear. The line between good and bad, pleasure and pain looked more like the complex twists and folds of grey matter than any kind of straight line.

On the other hand, the Avengers fought in modern warfare. They didn't face off over straight lines. Hulk still understood the ways in which battle was drawn. He could follow a complex line of battle. He was capable of gentleness, delicacy and moral reasoning. Tony had gone out of his way to convince Bruce of that, so of course he believed it himself. If he could handle that level of complexity, he could probably handle this one.

It just seemed a lot more real and vital a question when he was here, cradled against the hot green flesh, skin to skin, breathing heavily and still streaked with the remains of his solo adventure on the roof. Tony had to admit he was tense. He really needed to not be tense if this was going to work out well.

"Talk to me, big guy," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"Get Tony warm."

"Yeah. I'm doing better on that front. Thanks." Tony twisted in Hulk's arms so he could look at the big guy's face. He looked...fuck he actually looked nervous.

"You okay? We don't have to do anything...you don't want to, big guy," said Tony. He reached a hand up to stroke the Hulk's cheek.

"Don't know how. Don't wanna hurt."

"It won't hurt." Tony assured him.

"Don't wanna hurt Tony," Hulk insisted.

"You won't hurt me. We'll make sure. We'll take it slow, okay?"

Hulk nodded, looking shy of all things. How could Tony not have realized this was gonna be a thing? Bruce may not have been a blushing virgin, but on some level, Hulk was - the big, green guy had no idea what he was doing. Tony was going to have to take the lead. Suddenly, the whole equation shifted in his head and he was willing, eager - all fear banished.

"Why don't you put me down, big guy? Lay back. If you're okay to start, we can get started."

Hulk nodded and put Tony gently to the side as he laid back. Tony grinned at him and leaned down over him, kissing his mouth. The Hulk's hand cupped his back and then slid down to his butt as they kissed. Tony leaned back, still grinning. "You can squeeze me there if you want - not too hard."

Hulk did so, tensing his fingers a little. He smiled.

"Yeah. Not bad, right? I totally work out." Tony flexed, showing off his arms.

Hulk laughed a rumbling laugh. "Puny Tony," he said, but he said it indulgently.

Tony laughed, too. This was gonna work. "Everyone's puny compared to you," said Tony. "It's a totally unfair standard."

Hulk pulled him in and kissed him, again. Tony climbed on and straddled his waist as they kissed. He stroked hands over the gargantuan hairy chest as he kissed him. When he hit one nipple, Hulk pulled back and sighed with a rumble of pleasure.

"That's what we call an erogenous zone," said Tony. Hulk opened one eye to look at him, skeptically. "Or, uh...call it a good spot," said Tony. He bent to run his tongue over the nipple. Hulk made a surprised noise that Tony would've sworn was a cutoff moan. "See? Good, right? They're not the same on everyone - some people like some things more than others."

Tony, on a hunch, tried something Bruce liked. He tucked his head into the crook of Hulk's neck and ran his tongue over the skin under which the Hulk's pulse thundered on one side. Hulk moaned and shifted his neck to give better access. Bingo. He sat back up, still straddling Hulk (and that was going to make his legs ache, tomorrow, but didn't it always?) and something bumped into his back. Tony slithered off of Hulk and looked at the growing erection.

Hulk looked at him in alarm and then where his eyes were looking. "Bad?" he asked, in concern.

"No...very, very good, big guy. It's one of the best of the good spots. Can I show you?" Tony turned to look him in the eye. Hulk nodded, eyes wide. Tony lent down to kiss him, again and ran his fingers through the hair on his head. Hulk smiled, again, and closed his eyes.

Tony went over to the drum of lube and pumped a substantial amount over both hands. He came back and contemplated how to do this. He wanted to face the big guy while he did this. He wound up kneeling between the Hulk's legs. He put a hand at the base of the substantial green erection to steady it. It didn't fit all the way around, of course. Tony brushed the other lube-filled hand over the head, watching Hulk's reaction. Hulks mouth fell open and he groaned.

"Good? I'm going to try some things and you tell me what feels best and whether you think something different would make it feel better okay?"

Hulk nodded.

Tony made a circle of both his hands, his thumbs overlapping, his fingers slightly interlaced at the top of the massive member. He started stroking the massive cock the best he could, using both hands. It didn't take him very long of doing this to be very glad he worked out on the regular. Hulk moaned and twisted. "Good," he said.

"Good? I'm glad, buddy," said Tony. "This is one you can do yourself, too," he said. "Want to try it?"

"Like Tony on roof?"

"Yep. Like Tony on the roof. It's fun. Whiles away slack time pleasantly, if you happen to have any."

"Hulk try."

"It's better with the lube. Let me get you some," said Tony. He went back for two more great handfuls of lube and scraped them into Hulk's right hand.

"I want to try something else, while you're doing that. Might also feel good. Is that okay with you?"

"Feel...better?" Hulk seemed skeptical that was possible.

"Yep. I'll try it and if you don't like it, I'll stop, okay?"

"Mmm...yes." said Hulk.

Tony went and got a towel and wet it down with hot water in the shower, then pumped some lube into a bowl for easy transport. He knelt between Hulk's legs, again. Hulk slowed his motions, tilting his head up to watch what Tony was doing. Tony wiped down Hulk's ass with the wet towel, working it well into the crack. Hulk giggled. "Feel funny" he said.

"Stick with me, it gets better," said Tony. He scrubbed Hulk's hole as thoroughly as possible. Hulk stretched his legs wider, really opening himself up. Tony ran a hand over Hulk's balls and then, with his other hand, slid two lubed fingers slowly into his ass. Hulk looked a little surprised.

"Okay?" Tony asked him.

"Strange," said Hulk.

"Bad strange?"

Hulk made a noncommittal noise that reminded Tony so much of the one Bruce made that he suddenly wondered whether Hulk could do yoga from muscle memory.

"I'm going to go in more, okay?"

Hulk nodded. "Mmmm." he said. He was still stroking himself slowly.

Tony worked in a third finger and then a fourth without too much trouble.

"More." said Hulk. He seemed to be getting into the spirit of the thing and was stroking himself faster

"Okay, but I need more lube." Tony pulled out and slathered his whole hand and forearm. Might as well be prepared. He was suddenly aware how big a problem this could be if Hulk suddenly de-Hulked in the middle of this. He and Bruce had definitely not gotten to fisting and de-hulking with a hand in his ass up to the wrist was not how Tony wanted to get him there.

A fist wasn't as big a deal for Hulk. It was a question of proportionality. Tony lined up and slid his four fingers back in, then he slid out and tucked his thumb and went for it, sliding slowly in. Hulk was scrunching up his face, again - the concentration face he'd had on earlier.

"Okay?" he asked Hulk.

"Okay." said Hulk.

"Okay," echoed Tony. All the banter had been washed out of him, for the moment. He started to move while Hulk went back to stroking himself at speed. Tony slid his arm slowly in further, then back out to where the flare of his hand stopped it.

He got into the spirit of the thing, setting up a slow rhythm. He closed his eyes and just felt the warmth enfolding him, the press of skin and muscle. It took him awhile for him to realize that the Hulk had stopped jerking himself off. Tony opened his eyes and looked at him, questioningly.

Hulk had taken his great hand away from his cock and was looking down the length of his own body at Tony. "Tony feel good?" he asked.

Tony smiled at him, reassuringly. "I'm fine, big guy."

"Hulk make tony feel good? Touch good spot?"

Tony grinned more broadly. "Yeah, sure. I'd like that."

Hulk curled to a half-sitting, half-reclining position, propped up on one big, green elbow. He touched Tony's head, then the arm buried in his own ass "Hulk do for Tony?"

Tony nearly had a heart attack at the notion of the Hulk fisting him. "Uh...probably not a good idea. I don't think I could take your fist without getting hurt."

Hulk frowned. "No hurt."

"But I could take a finger." said Tony. "I'll have to stop doing this, I think."

Hulk nodded. Tony pulled out slowly, carefully tucking his hand, again to slide out of Hulk.

"Let me go wash up, first."

He went to scrub his arm in the shower. While he was there, he just scrubbed off, generally, paying special attention to his own ass - easier than talking Hulk through that. Hulk was standing when he got back, looking at the drum of lube. Tony showed him how to use the pump. Hulk was delighted by this and slightly distracted for a moment, pumping lube all over his hands. He slid them together, then clapped, noisily.

"You like that? Next time we could get a whole tub full and just roll around in it," said Tony, with a grin.

"Slippery," said Hulk.

"Kind of the point, big guy. Slippery is helpful, because sliding is an important part of sex."

"Tony lay down," said Hulk.

Tony grinned and darted up to kiss him on the cheek. "I like it when you get all bossy," he said.

"Tony stop talk. Lay down," said Hulk, trying to be stern.

"Whatever you say green and mean," said Tony, laying down.

Hulk's brows knit in anxiety "Hulk no mean. Tony said. Like bossy."

Tony laughed. "Sorry, big guy. Roleplaying is lesson two. I like you all the ways you are. I promise."

He lay down and reached out for Hulk. Hulk knelt over him with a thud, and kissed him the way Tony had been kissing him at the beginning.

Tony felt a little overwhelmed to be covered by Hulk like this. The big guy was supporting his weight, Tony was taking none of it, but it was a little like being tenderly caressed by a rhino: cute and sweet, but it couldn't help being intimidating, too.

"Well, you're good and lubed up, so the key is, move in slow. Take one finger..." Tony spread his legs as wide as he comfortably could.

Hulk shifted and leaned back he held up a hand and pointed his index finger at the ceiling.

"Right. Now, find the spot and press in slowly, okay? take it really slow."

Tony was very experienced at putting things up his ass. He'd been doing it on the regular since he realized it was a potential source of pleasure. He was glad for all that experience as the Hulk pressed one finger into him excruciatingly slowly.

"Oh, god. Yeah. That's good, buddy. Yes." The Hulk's finger bottomed out in him, the rest of his hands pressed against Tony's ass cheeks. "Good. Now, slowly, move the finger in and out." Hulk did so. "Now, when it's in, this time, stop, and crook upwards. Yeah."

Tony's erection was bobbing with every heartbeat.

"God. Yes."

Hulk leaned over him and swiped his massive tongue over Tony's nipples with one great stroke.

"Ahh! God. Yeah. that's good, buddy."

Hulk smiled, still leaning over Tony. "More good place?" he asked.

"Oh, uh..." Tony swallowed. "Well, you could.." He took Hulk's free hand and guided it to his erection.

Hulk took the hint right away and encircled Tony, pumping his cock slowly, speeding up over time. The sensation was overwhelming. Hulk's skin temperature ran high - even higher than Bruce's, if Tony wasn't mistaken, and something about that made it feel so much better than his own hand. And there was the sheer rush, once again, of seeing this giant creature capable of applying seemingly limitless force be delicate enough to give pleasure without pain.

Working Tony's cock seemed to make Hulk forget to do anything with the finger in his ass.

"So, big guy," said Tony, and it came out a little more breathy and ragged than authoritative, but Tony thought he could be forgiven for that. "Keep moving your finger inside me. If it helps, you can move the hand and the finger at the same time, but keep it slow on the finger, okay?"

Tony felt the finger slide in and out of him, again. It felt good - one finger was easy. The heat around his cock and the slow stroking into him of the finger was pushing him towards the edge. "Okay, now crook your finger upwards, like you're trying to point at the ceiling, but inside of me, okay? Like this." Tony demonstrated with his own finger. "That's the ahhh ahhh ahh ahhh. Sweet jesus. No. Keep going. I am going to come."

Tony let go - hot, sticky liquid coating the inside of Hulk's encircling fist and leaking out around the fingers as he continued to move. "Okay. You can stop. That was...amazing."

"Good?" Hulk asked. He slid his hands off of Tony, and raised his eyebrows and looked at him.

"Very. Yes. Very good, buddy." Tony lay there, panting, for a moment. He closed his eyes and just breathed. When he opened them again, Hulk was smearing the mixture of come and lube around on his fingers, and observing it closely. "We should get cleaned up. Want to come take a shower?"

Hulk looked at him, almost quizzically. His big green erection was flagging at the current lack of stimulation, but not completely gone. Tony roused himself and took Hulk by the arm, tugging him towards the corner with the shower. Hulk got to his feet and suddenly Tony felt like a little kid eagerly dragging an adult towards something.

Tony dropped Hulk's hand and turned on the taps and tested the water. "Test that out tell me if you want it hotter or colder than that," he said to Hulk.

Hulk stuck a hand in the way Tony had just done, then pulled it back. "Warm rain," he said.

"Basically," Tony agreed.

Hulk stuck his hand under, again, then more of his arm. "More hot?"

Tony turned it up a notch and tested it again. It still felt nice. He slipped into the flow of water and closed his eyes. The Hulk stepped into the shower, too. He could hear the big guy get under the water and grunt.

Tony looked at him. Hulk was just standing there as if uncertain what to do at this juncture. "Come here, big guy," he said. "Why don't you sit down, and I'll wash your hair."

Hulk shrugged and sat with a wet thud. "More good spot soon?" he asked.

"Sooner than you think," said Tony, grinning. He grabbed a bottle of shampoo and proceeded to attempt to wash Hulk's hair the way the guy at the salon did Tony's when he got it cut. He rubbed the shampoo in vigorously with his fingers. "Tilt your head back so you don't get soap in your eyes."

"Feel nice," said Hulk.

"Right? Want me to keep going?"

"More wash?" Hulk said.

"Yes. More wash," Tony agreed.

"Hulk wash Tony's hair!" he declared, enthusiastically.

"Uh...okay," said Tony, "Sure." He handed over the bottle of shampoo over. Hulk promptly squirted about half of it on Tony's head in a feat of miscalculated strength.

"Uh, okay," said Tony, squeezing his eyes shut. "That's kind of...more than you need, there."

Hulk rubbed his head surprisingly gently. He seemed to be mastering the art of gentleness overall. It made the whole prospect of possibly doing this again seem more realistic.

Since he really did have an over abundance of soap, Hulk kept scrubbing Tony's hair with his broad fingers for a very long time. Thanks," Tony said, when the water sluicing off of him didn't feel soapy anymore. On the plus side, he felt pretty clean all over, at this point, from the soap runoff. He ventured to open his eyes.

Hulk was looking at him and smiling. He was still sitting in front of Tony. Tony smiled back and fell forward onto him and kissed him. Hulk wrapped arms around him and kissed back. It started out soft and chaste like the earlier kisses, but when Tony opened his mouth, Hulk took that as a cue, and they were making out in earnest. Tony wound up sucking on Hulk's tongue in a shameless manner and biting the big green lower lip.

Tony let Hulk hold him and kiss him for awhile before slithering around and getting on his knees next to Hulk, draping himself over one of Hulk's legs so he could once again take the big guy in hand. He was thoroughly de-lubed, so he took it slow, using both hands to stroke up and down the Hulk's erection.

Hulk leaned back an huffed a large breath out. "Clean now! Good spot!"

"Yup, buddy."

"Good spot for bed?" the Hulk asked.

"Sure. If you want we can dry off and go back over there."

Tony turned the shower off, then handed Hulk a towel. He grabbed one, himself, but was startled by Hulk wrapping him in the huge one they'd brought for him and drying him carefully. He grinned as Hulk picked him up, and put his own towel on Hulk's head, sopping some water out of his hair with vigorous buffing.

Hulk laughed. Tony laughed too. It really was almost as easy as it was with Bruce, once he was in it.

"Come on! Dry yourself," said Tony. "Or you'll get the sheets all wet."

"Water bad, slippery good?" Hulk was swiping at his skin with the big towel.

"I see your point, but actually, yes. Water can be slippery, but the lube is way more slippery. But we wouldn't want to coat ourselves with the lube...possibly. I mean, it would be a choice, but not necessarily the most effectual choice."

Hulk poked him with a finger. "Tony talk too much."

Tony grinned. "That is not the first time I've heard that from a bed-partner, believe it or not."

"Hulk believe."

Tony laughed. He danced up to kiss Hulk. He was scooped up in the cradle of a large green hand and carried bed-wards.

Tony felt safe and happy. He stretched and then clung to Hulk's shoulder as the big green guy flopped down onto the low foam mattress, causing the building to rattle, just a bit. He was straddling Hulk, again, with the big, green hand resting on his back so lightly he thought Hulk must not be letting him even take its whole weight.

Hulk was being shy, again. Tony playfully bit his chest. He was surprised how supple the invulnerable skin was. He pressed himself against it, spreading himself out, running his hands down Hulk's sides, mouthing his collarbone and neck.

Hulk let out a subsonic rumble that might have been a moan.

"You like that?"

"Yes," the big green guy said, simply.

"I'm gonna try a thing, but I don't know how long I can keep it up. If you don't like it, say stop, and if you do I'll try to keep going as long as possible. Okay?"

"Okay," said Hulk. He watched as Tony slithered off of him, got more lube and came to kneel between his legs, again. He slid his hands up and down the Hulk's member before leaning in to lick the skin of his balls. He stroked the Hulk as best he could while lapping at the sensitive skin with the flat of his tongue.

Hulk did the rumbling thing, again. Tony took that as approval and moved on to lick his way up the Hulk's cock. He figured he could just about get his mouth around the head. He tried it, but there was no way to do it without bringing teeth into play, and he didn't want to risk that. He swirled his tongue around the head of it several times, but that got tiring, quickly. His hands and his jaw were both starting to ache.

"Okay," he said, "Scratch that." Tony leaned up. Hulk groaned in disappointment.

"Sorry," said Tony. "I can keep trying, but I don't want to hurt you."

Hulk laughed. "Tony no hurt Hulk."

"Well, I mean...I doubt I could injure you permanently, but it still might hurt if I bite you by accident."

Hulk held out his finger. "Bite."

Tony opened his mouth, licked the finger then bit down on it as hard as he could.

"Ow!" bellowed Hulk.

"See? I'm sorry, big guy."

Hulk looked sad. "No good spot," he said.

"No. we're gonna do good spot. We're definitely doing the whole good spot thing." Tony draped himself over the Hulk's chest, again, and kissed his mouth. "Keep yourself entertained for a moment. I'm going to get more lube."

Tony refilled the bowl he had used earlier. He was going to need a lot of lube for this. A lot. His heart was racing. _What am I even thinking_? He took a deep breath because he wanted this.

He laid down next to Hulk and lubed his fingers and started to stretch himself out.

"What Tony doing?" Hulk asked. He rolled onto his side to watch.

"Opening myself up a little," said Tony. He closed his eyes. _Or a lot_.

"Hulk do for Tony, earlier." Hulk sounded a little grumpy.

"This is a lead-in to something different than we did earlier," said Tony.

"What?" asked Hulk.

"Once I'm done stretching out, I'm going to ask you to put this," Tony brushed his fingertip along the length of the Hulk's sizeable erection, "inside me here where I'm working."

Hulk flipped around, then, to look closer. "Not fit," he said.

"It's very stretchy. We just have to be careful. Go slow at first."

"Not fit. Hulk not want hurt Tony. Not try."

"I swear I have gotten bigger things than that inside me," said Tony. It was almost not a lie, at any rate, and this was worth pushing boundaries for.

Hulk looked skeptical (once again, forcibly reminding Tony of Bruce) and shook his head. He laid back and started to stroke himself, moving the big green hand up and down his own length with a will.

"Come on. You don't have to do that. I swear, I want this."

"Hulk no want. Hulk feel good like this. No hurt Tony," he grunted. He kept stroking himself.

Tony groaned in frustration. He pulled three fingers out of himself an rolled onto his side, stretching his non-lubed-hand over Hulk's chest. "It's worth getting hurt to me, if you want to. I really think we could do it without injuring me at all."

Hulk didn't slow his hand and didn't answer. Tony didn't think he'd ever seen someone masturbate in a fit of pique, before.

"At least let me help you," said Tony, snuggling against Hulk's side till he slid his arm around Tony, enclosing him in warmth.

"No need help."

"But help can be fun," Tony countered.

"Kiss me?" Hulk asked, tentatively.

It was such a sweet request in the midst of a peculiar situation. Tony smiled and kissed him, leaning up over the huge chest to kiss his mouth warmly and deeply. As he did, Hulk came, spurting a hot, sticky mess all over Tony's back and no doubt over himself, as well. Hulk let out a moan as he did, half into Tony's mouth. He panted and laid there with a startled look on his face for a few moments.

"So...good?"

Hulk nodded. "Good. Feel good. Feel..." Words seemed to fail jolly green and Tony didn't blame him.

"Maybe next time we can try the other thing I was talking about. It's even better. I swear."

"Next time?" Hulk asked.

"Yeah. You didn't think this was only going down once, did you?"

"Didn't know."

"Unless you don't want there to be a next time. No obligation, buddy."

"Hulk...yes. Want."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it," Tony grinned and sighed. He relaxed against the green skin and closed his eyes. "We can talk more in between. Talk about what you're up for. Sorry I sprung stuff on you this time. It wasn't really fair. Next time we'll work on it, okay?"

"Okay," Hulk patted his back lightly.

"Okay," Tony fancied that the hand on his back was shrinking. Sure enough, he opened his eyes to find he was on top of Bruce, not Hulk.

"Hi there!" he said, grinning.

"What am I covered with and why do I feel this relaxed?"

"You're covered with Hulk spooge. If that doesn't answer the second question, I don't know what would," responded Tony with a laugh.

"So it went well?" Bruce asked. His hands ran over Tony's back and down both arms. Tony pretended he didn't know Bruce was checking for broken bones.

"Eh," he said, "A little shaky, but I think we'll get there if we have the opportunity."

"Did he hurt you?" Bruce asked, concerned.

"Actually, he was so concerned about hurting me, he refused to fuck me." Tony tried to make it a complaint, but he really couldn’t muster any force behind the words. It was kind of sweet, after all.

Bruce's eyebrows shot up. "Seriously? Hm...maybe you were right about trusting him after all."

"Great. This is what I need. The two of you in league against me."

"Tony, for the first time, I actually sort of believe the two of us are in league *for* you," Bruce said earnestly.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Someone owes me a fucking in the ass."

"Can I get a shower first?"

"As long as you let me wash my own hair, absolutely," said Tony with a grin. He gave Bruce a kiss and padded over to start the warm flow of water again.

"I won't even pretend to know what that means." Bruce walked up behind him and put his arms around Tony's waist.

"I promised him a round two." Tony's voice was quiet.

"You're unharmed. I'm okay with that," said Bruce.

"Really? Okay with it?" Tony twisted to face him and grinned.

"As okay as I can be with anything in the ridiculous situation I call my life."

"Well," said Tony, pausing to kiss Bruce and pulling back and grinning, again, "That's pretty okay, right?"

"Yeah," said Bruce, with a quiet smile. "Yeah, Tony. That's pretty okay."


End file.
